July 14, 2004
adventures in house sitting - day 7
I've been preoccupied with housesitting so to hold you over I've arranged a guest blog. These guys can't type, so they dictated to me. I think you'll find their perspective real enlightening; they've some strong opinions about crucial issues like sniffing and petting.
My name is Myles. I never knew my dad, but my mom was a Chow. There's a man in my house who keeps trying to take pictures of me. It sort of freaks me out. As long as he has that flasher in his hand, I can't relax, I can't eat.
My common-law wife Millie and I like to go into the backyard. When I'm out there, I enjoy sniffing and peeing on as many things as I can. Sometimes Millie gets excited and yaps at my ears and I have to put her back in her place.
I drink a lot of water. My other hobbies include shedding and leaving hair on things. Also I like to shed.
My name is Millie. I am certifiably crazy. Because I was not petted as a puppy, I need to be loved. All the time. If I'm not being petted, scratched, or rubbed, I'm not happy. The only thing I don't like about you petting me is the part when you stop. Petting should not end.
There's a man in my house. I like to watch him eat. I don't know why. I follow him everywhere and try to position my head near his hands to increase the probability of being petted. Even an accidental petting can hold me over between real pettings. Sometimes he'll use his hands to write or push buttons, but frankly this seems like a waste of hands that could be used to pet me.
He lets me out into the backyard. I like to go out, but if he doesn't come with me, I GET SO SAAAAAD!!! I can't bear the sorrow of seeing him on the other side of the window for 10 seconds. It's TOO MUCH PAIN for any dog to bear! O, the tragedy!! After all, if he's inside and I'm out, how is he supposed to pet me?
My hobbies are being petted, bounding in circles like a bull, being petted, smelling things, and also being petted. If it's comprised of atoms, I love to sniff it. Again and again. Also, I really love being petted. Pet me. Pet me now. Pet me or I'll stick my my cold, wet nose in your armpit while you sleep.
Posted by aokie at July 14, 2004 10:26 AM