Noli Me Tangere

The Great Palm Caper of '05

Let's just suppose, for the sake of discussion, that you were employed by a certain church, and that it was your responsibility to procure some palms for Palm Sunday. In the past, people (including yourself) have dropped the ball and forgotten or failed to reserve any palms in time, drawing the ire of your boss and grumblings from the congregation.

This year, you made sure to order them early enough and you paid for your order with a credit card to ensure your palms were reserved for you only. You only need pick them up later in the week.

But then, due to the general craziness of your life and of pre-Easter season in particular, you don't think about the palms again until, say, 5:45 on Saturday. "Whew," you think to yourself. "Good thing they stay open until 6pm."

A quick phone call to let them know you are coming:

"Actually, sir, we closed at 5:00 today."
"What?! Okay, well you're obviously still there. Can I still come by? They're paid for and everything, so I just need to pick them up."
"I'm just the answering service. I'm not actually at the shop."
"What?!"
"But you can go by and see if there's still anyone lingering around."

At this point, you realize that you might have managed to spend church money on palms that won't actually be available until Palm Monday. You slap yourself on the forehead and curse under your breath. You envision trying to explain this the next morning. The palms you do have begin to sweat. Your driving becomes frantic and unsafe.

There is no car in the front lot, but through the window, you can see some lights on in the back of the building. A few loud raps on the door prompts no signs of life. In despair, you look around and contemplate hurling your sorry self in front of a speeding MARTA bus.

You figure you'll check around back. Can't hurt. There is a car. You knock on the back door, but still nobody answers and you can see that the only lit room is empty. Peering through window, you want in so badly that your hand instinctively grabs and rotates the doorknob.

To your surprise, it opens right up.

Uh-oh.

Now you've got a dilemma. "Hello?" Nobody answers. You step inside. "Helloooo?" You see a security unit on the wall which is active, but apparently not armed. You quickly locate a single stash of palms in the freezer. They are not labeled, but they appear to be your order. You stand still in the hallway, heart pounding, clutching the palms trying to do the math on which would be more embarrassing: forgetting the palms or missing the service altogether because you were incarcerated for breaking and entering. You imagine how you will explain your behavior to police. "No, no, see, technically these are my palms..."

Minutes later, you still have not moved, and no police have arrived. You have to make a decision and live with it. Do you play it safe, put the palms back, and take the bullet honorably? Or do you go with the assumption that they are your order, cover your failure and avert a probable Palm Sunday disaster?

What would you do?

Posted by aokie at March 22, 2005 02:07 PM